All the Important Things To Know Before Leaving Your Husband

Published February 28, 2024

A marriage is a privilege to experience. To love and swear in union forever is a gift that often makes way for an enriched life. Yet, not all marriages result in success. Many reasons call for a failed marriage. And the act of leaving one’s spouse is a very challenging and life-changing thing to do.

And if you’re in the middle of calling your marriage quits and leaving your husband, keep on reading. The road to it can be overwhelming. You may be faced with emotional, logistical, and domestic challenges. Walking out abruptly doesn’t also work and will only make things worse in the long run.

You need to have a deliberate exit plan. It will aid in setting yourself up for yourself sufficiently. This plan will help you avoid potential legal losses and hardships. And we’ll talk about just that.

Keep reading for a comprehensive guide on all the essential things to know before leaving your husband. We’ll discuss why you should leave him, how to do it, and the checklists you need to manage. We’ll also dive into how to handle your financial documents and how to move out. Let’s start.

Should I Leave My Husband?

There’s no one answer to the question of whether or not you should leave your husband. Every marriage is unique. Only you can decide if you are ready to go to your union.

According to women who’ve been in this saddening situation, there are signs. Below are all the signs it may be time to leave your husband.

1. You are unhappy in your marriage. Your efforts to improve your romantic relationship are going unnoticed.
2. Your spouse is not interested in trying to better your marriage.
3. You or your spouse had an affair and want to stay in that relationship.
4. You fear for your safety in your marriage. It could be due to domestic violence or verbal or emotional abuse. You may also feel like you are walking on eggshells around your husband.
5. Your friends and family members voice their new concerns about your union. It could be about noticing changes in your behavior. You may seem unhappy. Your husband may treat you poorly.
6. Your family therapist has told you it’s time.

It’s vital to remember not to tell your spouse you are leaving. It is until you are ready to go. It’s critical to make a plan and consider your safety. If you are in an abusive union, it can be hazardous to exit your marriage.

When Should I Start Preparing To Leave My Husband?

Start doing your exit strategy 2-6 months before leaving your husband. It could still surprise you even if you think they will handle the news well. Set yourself up early. It will aid in managing the emotional upheaval and paperwork of the divorce process.

When you break the news to your husband, he may take it in stride. Brace yourself for an angry reaction. Some may even go crazy and clean out their bank accounts.

People who usually seem level-headed can become very aggressive and even violent. It is when they feel their life, money, or reputation is in danger. They may intimidate, belittle, or threaten you.

How To Leave My Husband? Leaving Your Husband Checklist: Pre-Divorce

1. Build your emergency fund.

There have been cases of many women who left with $300 with kids. It’s possible, but it’s not ideal. Save for a $1000 Emergency Fund in an easily attainable account. This fund will aid in surviving if your leaving causes any financial disruptions.

2. Stash a “Cash GoBag”

It’s also critical to have a “cash go bag.” It should be at least $500 in cash. It must also contain copies of significant accounts and a credit card in your name only. It will help if you need to leave quickly. You can stash this in your card.

3. Pack a physical GoBag.

This should have a change of clothes, prescriptions, and other essential things for you and your kids. It must last for a few days. Again, hide it in your car.

4. Figure out your expenses and build a budget.

It is much easier to rule your actual spending when not dealing with a husband who just got served divorce papers. Track your expenses for a good month or two. It will help you understand what you need to live on. Having a sense now will aid in informing your separation agreement. It also supports building a post-divorce financial plan.

5. Do not start a romance.

Suppose you leave your husband for another man or eye the dating scene. Do not start a romance until you are divorced. It ought to make things easier and more complicated. It will only harm your life and your head. Depending on your stay, it may also harm your separation agreement.

6. Learn about your state’s family law.

Every state has a unique divorce law. Have an adequate awareness of your state’s custody and divorce laws. It will help you comprehend the legal process, what to expect, and how to protect yourself. All while leaving your marriage peacefully.

Divorce Safety Checklist

1. Choose your ride or die. A very trustworthy person

Every woman going through this situation needs an accomplice. Get someone you can trust with your keys, cash, personal data, and kids. This person doesn’t need to be your sister or best friend—they need to be someone reliable and level-headed.

2. Hold your credit and pull your credit report.

There are far too many cases of ex-husbands trying to suppress a joint account in their wife’s name while splitting up. Guard your credit and lock it.

3. Change all passwords to your accounts and devices.

Modify the passwords to your email, social media, making, and other personal accounts.

Set up two-factor authentication. It sends a notification to your device whenever someone tries logging in. Set it up on:

• Email
• Social Media
• Financial accounts in your name
• Cell phone account
• Any account with sensitive data that is yours alone

4. Get a burner phone.

A burner is a cheap cellophane that employs prepaid phone cards. You should put the key and emergency numbers in it. Your attorney, close friends, family, church, and school must be there.

5. Start notes on your spouse’s behavior.

This should include any time a promise fails you and your kids. Write down instances of gaslighting, threats, and accusations. List down strange purchases or anything involving illegal or shady activity. Moreover, record if your husband has done any property damage.

If your husband’s emails, text messages, or voicemails entail something problematic. Save and print them. Here’s what to look out for:

• Threats of physical abuse, violence, lawsuits, retaliation
• Verbal abuse and harassment
• Lies
• Illegal activity
• Implied threats and intimidation
• Is there any evidence they are tracking or following you
• Defamation or libel
• Accusations

6. Open a different bank account at a new bank.

This money will not be guarded from a separation agreement. Yet, a separate bank account will give you some financial security in case your spouse decides to empty accounts. Ensure it is not a joint account when you open it.

7. Contact a divorce lawyer.

Separating from your spouse can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. If you two have children, their health, and well-being will be affected. They will depend on how tactfully you handle the situation. Forging the representation of a divorce attorney can have a considerable impact. It is especially in cases of child custody and child support.

Do not take any actions or sign any agreements that could later complicate the separation process. It is until you’ve connected with a family lawyer.

A lawyer aids in helping you navigate the legal process. It will take the pressure off an already stressful situation.

How To Handle Financial Documents When Leaving Your Husband

Before you file for divorce, check your critical financial information. Your family lawyer can get all your legal records and financial statements if you can’t acquire them.

Suppose you need to leave for safety reasons. Act fast, and don’t wait. Having all the documents ready will make your life and attorney’s job easier. Not to mention, less expensive.

Get a hold of the following financial documents, one at a time:

1. Cash accounts and bank statements
2. Statements for investment accounts
3. Retirement account statements
4. Credit card account statements
5. Mortgage and home equity lines of credit details
6. Car loans and lease info
7. Tax returns
8. Documentation of government benefits
9. Proof of health care coverage
10. Social security numbers
11. Income statements and pay stubs
12. Insurance details

Moving Out

1. Get as much emotional support as you can

This is not the time to be alone with your woes and worries. After you leave your husband, you should have a community you can lean on. Be with your family. Spend time with your friends. Connect with a therapist.

Divorce is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. The pain will be much more bearable if you have the support and love of the people who care for you the most. Ask for help. It’s a normal thing to do.

2. Get back on your feet.

This may not happen overnight. You will have to recover and heal both emotionally and financially. You also have a long road to feel independent and in control of your life again.

Women tend to lose financially after separation. Yet, keep exploring new things you might love. Go and advance in your career. Do many amazing things you could not do during your union. In the long run, you will thoroughly get back on your feet. What’s great is that you will also be stronger, wiser, and fulfilled.